Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Alive.
So much puke
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
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