Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
