Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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