I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
