also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
