my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
