I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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