this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
