Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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