But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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