i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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