Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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