everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize
