you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
