Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
