he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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