Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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