Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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