i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Randomize
