Porn is love you can see.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
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