Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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