You're completely useless in the revolution.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize