I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
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