I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
