how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
