somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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