Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
