you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
