My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize