Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
