I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
