We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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