Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize