I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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