I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
