it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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