Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
