is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Randomize