Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
BRING THE BAGELS
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
