I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize