Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
