Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
