Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
