she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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