Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I currently don't understand fingers.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
