Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
