OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
