Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I'm always down for nudity.
PANTIES FOUND
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
