How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
my liver is dry heaving
Randomize
