it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
