dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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