you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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