Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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