so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
