do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I wish my penis had an off switch
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
