You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
