I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize