Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
