Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I would fuck him just for his dog
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