I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
